A newsletter for sparking old memories and new awareness.
Created by Caryn Colgan,
Award-winning author of Ancient Pact, Volume 1: The Element of Air and the forthcoming
Ancient Pact, ReMember: Deck One Spiritual Contemplation Cards.
In This Issue
How to Handle Negative People and Situations
Are You A Rising Star?
Special Bonus for You
Submissions: Stories, Questions and Ideas
and Situations
“Pain is a splendid catalyst for encouraging people to reconnect with reality.”
—Illianna to Karan in Ancient Pact, Volume 1: The Element of Air
Once upon a time I believed that if I was happy and positive I would attract only happy and positive people into my life. While I absolutely believe that a positive disposition is important, I still live in the physical realm and people with negative dispositions also live here. Inevitably paths cross. How I perceive this intersection determines not only how I feel, but also how I handle the situation.
A few weeks ago I went into a store and noticed the clerk behind the glass counter didn't return my greeting as I passed. The only other customer casually browsed among the blouses at the rear of the tiny shop.
I was looking for a very specific item and noticed that I felt hesitant to approach the clerk to ask for help. I was in a great mood and wanted to stay that way. However I didn't want to waste time searching for something if she didn't have it in the store. As I approached she didn't look up so I said, "Excuse me. Can you help me?"
The grimace on her face clearly communicated she didn't want to be disturbed. Rudely she demanded, "What you need?"
My ego appeared briefly whispering, "She's PAID to help you. She shouldn't talk to a customer in that tone." But, instead I smiled and said, "Rough day, huh?"
She eyed me suspiciously before taking a deep breath. She told me she was overwhelmed with debt and had compiled a list of goals after watching the movie "The Secret" In a defeated voice she said, "I'm never going to get out of debt."
Constantly vigilant of my thoughts and feelings, I noticed that I felt defeated and drained as she spoke. I had to handle the situation quickly or else her mood might infect mine! I asked to see her list. She clearly had not understood the intent of the movie. Everything on her list was stated in a negative way such as: "I don't want any more debt.", "I'm not angry at my dad." and "I'm not living in an apartment by July 31." These negatively oriented goals plus her negative speech were reinforcing her failure.
I asked her to turn her "goals" paper to the other side and instructed her to rephrase her goals in a positive way. "I don't want any more debt" became "Money comes to me from multiple sources easily and abundantly". "I'm angry at my dad" was fixed to say, "I find a way to make peace with my dad." and so on. I watched her pinched face transform to a lovely young one before my eyes. The process took less than five minutes. The shop didn't have what I was looking for but I received a lovely lesson.
My assumption upon entering the store was that the angry clerk didn't want to help me. The truth was that she was feeling sad and had directed her upset feelings at me. It was not a personal "attack" and I was able to handle her because I stepped away from my emotional reaction to focus on her.
Often in negative situations, emotions flare. When this happens the conflict escalates and makes resolution more difficult. The best way I've found to handle negative situations and people is to imagine myself watching the drama from an open air loft. By "rising above" the situation I imagine my body is a player in a game and my emotions are hovering upstairs in a disengaged state. By doing this, I move any ego responses (such as, "she shouldn't talk to me like that") out of the way and can use my rational free-will to deal with the situation.
All forms of negative emotions prompt you to look beyond the
situation and
view it from a different perspective. Are you
clinging to something or someone?
Reflect on 7 new ways to
perceive your situation or life.
(From ReMember Deck One-Reality is Greater than Perception, Card 7)
The card's question: Are you clinging to something or someone? invites a deeper examination of any conflict. When the ego is stimulated in a conflict, often the emotion stems from an earlier and unresolved conflict. If I explore my indignant reaction of "She shouldn't talk to me that way" I ask myself, when have I felt indignant before.
The earliest time I can remember is in the second grade when my teacher told me good children don't need erasers. I knew she was wrong but her implication stung: that I was a bad child because I made mistakes and sometimes needed an eraser. By clinging to this upset feeling, I keep that wound open and available for another negative person to "attack".
Second grade was a very long time ago and I can decide to "let it GO." When I completely release my hold on that teacher and her rude words, no one can hurt me again by speaking rudely to me. Even if they do talk down to me in some way, I can "send" my emotions to the loft and my ego won't become engaged. I can handle the situation with ease.
In summary, here are the steps to handle a negative person or situation:
1. Assume the attack is not personal.
2. Imagine the situation is a game and you are a player.
3. Push your emotions and any ego responses into an imaginary loft above you.
4. Ask questions to uncover what is going on.
5. Consider and discuss options for resolving the situation.
6. Focus on positive solutions.
7. Ask yourself, "What have I learned from this?" and
8
if you had an emotional response ask, "To what am I clinging?"
Are You a Rising Star?
A few weeks ago I launched Radio Good Spirited. For now, this show is live at 2 PM pacific standard time every other Tuesday. The next show, on August 7, 2007 is "Coincidences Occur Where Life and Destiny Intersect". I will feature stories and events that seem to point to a "no accidents" grander scheme for events.
Have you ever experienced a coincidence that seemed like more than an accident or random twist of fate?
If "coincidences" aren't accidents, then what are they?
You can be a "star" on my show. Share your stories or ideas on the topic. You don't have to agree with me to call in. All viewpoints are welcome. There are two ways to participate on the show.
1. Send your stories or questions via the "contact" button on this website
2. Call in during the show and share your stories and/or ask questions. The phone number is (646) 716-7181. We can have five live callers online at one time.
You are also welcome to listen to the live show or search the archives for a program of interest. Visit: Caryn's Radio Talk Show
Be sure to check the program for times as the schedule may change without notice.
Back to Top
Ancient Pact, ReMember: Deck One Spiritual Contemplation Cards are based on quotes from the award-winning spiritual adventure, Ancient Pact, Volume 1 : The Element of Air. This deck of 52 cards can be used individually, by counselors, teachers and professors, and by metaphysical practitioners. The deck is also perfect for group discussions and book clubs. Reading the book is helpful but not necessary.
To celebrate that Ancient Pact, Volume 1 has won another award, 2007 COVR Best Book Award for Visionary Fiction , we have extended The Early Bird Special to August 15, 2007. The cards will be $10.95 plus shipping. Retail $15.95
If you ordered deck(s) during the original promotion watch for an extra surprise in your package. I apologize for the delay and want to reward your patience!
You do not need a PayPal account if you use a credit card.
Also check out our Gift Bundle. Get a copy of Ancient Pact, Volume 1: The Element of Air, The ReMember: Deck One Spiritual Contemplation Cards and a bee candle for only $26.95 (a $39.90 Value) through August 15, 2007.
They make a great gift for your friends too!
Note: Cards will ship as soon as the cards are available in August 2007
Caryn Welcomes Your Input
Do you have questions for Caryn? Do you have an inspirational story to tell? Would you like to comment on this or other ReMember issues? Share your ideas.
Please email Caryn Colgan at: news at goodspirited. dotcom
May all beings be richly blessed.
Natural Cleaning Agents
